Review: Iron Man #80
Iron Man Teams Up With…President Ford?
It’s 1975. We again visit the offices of Marvel Comics’ Editor-In-Chief Len Wein…
“No officer,” Len says into a telephone, “His name’s not John-Michael. It's just plain Mike. And you caught him where?” A pause. “Just north of Montreal?” Another pause. “Can you put him on the phone?”
“Hi Len. Hey, did I tell you how much I really, really liked your last issue of The Hulk? Outstanding writing!”
“Can the BS, Mike. Were you really heading for Canada just to get out of finishing your Black Lama story? This isn't like the draft.”
“It’s not like that at all. Y'know…” Len heard a deep breath being taken. “I’m just stuck. I’ve no idea how to dig myself out of that story.”
“C’mon, Mike, how tough can it be? I mean it’s not like you’re writing speeches for President Ford.”
“Speeches for President Ford? Hmmm.” The Editor had a feeling that the mental gears were finally clicking for his writer. “President Ford’s from Grand Rapids, right?”
“Uh yeah. So?”
“President Gerald Ford. Grand Rapids.” Mike’s voice had a more energetic tone. “Hey, boss, I gotta go! You’ll have that story in the next couple days!”
Once he hung up the phone, Len stared at the ceiling, ignoring the stack of work on his desk. “Oh lord, why did I ever take this job? And how do I get out of it?”
His musings were then interrupted by his secretary, “You’ve got a call on line 2. It’s your old friend Marv Wolfman. He’s calling to ask if Marvel has any staff jobs available.”
Len felt the first smile in weeks now stretching across his face. “Put him though. I just may have a job for him.”
Every time I see that Jack Kirby cover, I’m reminded that by the time this issue arrived, any real interest in this storyline had long since evaporated. My thoughts as a kid were akin to a dental cleaning where my prerequisite thought was “might as well get this over with.”
Multiple decades have not altered that perspective in any significant way other than perhaps greater sympathy for the writer as this served as not only his final issues on a comic book but also the finale for his time at Marvel Comics.
But then, dwelling too much on this is a "Mission to Madness!”
Credits
Writer: Mike Friedrich
Penciller: Chic Stone
Inker: Vince Colletta
Colorist: George Roussos
Letterer: Ray Holloway
Editor: Marv Wolfman
Cover Art: Jack Kirby & Al Milgrom
Release Date: August 26, 1975
Synopsis
I almost feel like I should go to confession for saying this, but I did not like Jack Kirby’s cover on this issue. As a kid, as much as I respected his legacy, I found his style “old-fashioned.” It only took one issue of his Captain America for me to stop buying that comic - and that was after enduring Frank Robbins!
My artistic preferences at that time leaned heavily to more contemporary. Dave Cockrum had become my favorite with others like Jim Starlin, George Perez, Neal Adams and John Buscema high on that list as well. There was also this guy named John Byrne who was quickly catching my eye as well.
And if you think I’ve ulterior motives for devoting this much time to the cover, I’m guilty as charged. Truth is, there isn’t much to talk about regarding Iron Man #80.
It opens with an interesting splash page decorated with clean, but rather sterile art courtesy of longtime inker Chic Stone doing the pencils with Vince Coletta on the inks. We’re then brought up to speed courtesy of two pages of recaps before we found ourselves in the throne room of the kingdom of Grand Rapids.
Yessir. This alternate world has our nation broken into various kingdoms where the competition is apparently so fierce between everyone that technology is more advanced, while people still dress like it was 1799. Sure that all makes sense. And why Grand Rapids? Because that’s the home of … King Jerald! Who turns out to be the Black Lama’s real identity!
Palace intrigues immediately engage with a guy who looks like Tony Stark named Baron Rockler immediately staging a hostile takeover with some soldiers who wear funny-looking Viking helmets taking arms in his support. (Is he supposed to be a facsimile of then VP Nelson Rockefeller?)
This gives both Firebrand and Iron Man - who’ve also arrived - someone to help meet the prerequisite action quota for a Marvel comic. But before things get too wild, a secret passage opens in this castle so that both of them can escape. Once the door is secured, we see the cute, blonde princess who had been on the throne with her father who pulls back the Black Lama hood to reveal a smiling guy with dark hair who tells them that he’s on their side!
Sure. Why not?
But before the good King can commence his monologuing, we have a caption reading “MADSTARK” where apparently Iron Man is thinking in irrational, run-on sentences. Much like what happens to me when I’m forced to miss the latest MCU movie due to some work emergency.
Back to the story, King Jerald informs us that he became ruler of the land when his predecessor had to resign in disgrace - gee, that's how our Gerald Ford became president. Anyway, we’re also told that poor Jerald couldn’t handle the job so he essentially “ran away” to our unfortunate world using the Golden Globe. Not long after arriving, he began to lose more and more of his marbles. Apparently, his presence upset some nifty cosmic balance with the inevitable outcome being that everyone in our dimension would eventually take up residence at the funny farm.
Does the MCU know about this? This could really mess with the upcoming Avengers’ movies!
Instead of getting out while the getting was good, disguised as the Black Lama, loopy King Jerald sought to not only find someone to take over his job of leading the residents of Grand Rapids, but he even attempted to use Tony Stark’s former fiancé, Marianne Rodgers, as a replacement for his daughter. Not that how their paths crossed is ever addressed.
Although neither our hero nor Firebrand are overly moved by the King’s story, the latter decides to join the not-so-good Baron’s team, blasting a tired Iron Man before melting a path to escape.
We then spend a couple minutes with the lovely, but untrustworthy Baroness Rockler who has a wicked scientist straight out of central casting on her payroll. They then send easily the dorkiest looking robots since Josie and Pussycats went into Outer Space after the King, Princess and Iron Man.
To his eternal shame, it takes our hero six panels to bust up these hoofs-for-hands machines. Still, that’s enough for the three of them to depart for a more secure location where Iron Man grudging agrees to work with King Jerald.
That would be an okay place to end this issue. But even better are thought balloons letting us know that it every moment that our hero sticks around, it’s that much sooner he and Firebrand will destroy everything - including themselves.
Me? I’ll just be happy if this next issue if actually the conclusion and not either a reprint or another fill-in.
Story
This is the story that it took three months to create? I would wager something north of a reasonable sum of tender that this story is not what Mike Friedrich initially had in mind when he created the Black Lama back in #53. The references to then President Ford make no sense as there’s no physical resemblance or similar motivation or connection. It’s akin to depicting current President Donald Trump as a thin younger man with a cautious speaking style.
The Black Lama’s origin also has more than it’s share of holes. We met him as the mystical leader who’d founded cults of followers throughout the world, teaching them to tap their emotions to generate energy, such as Raga with intense heat. How he moved from that to instigating confrontations between various super-villains further hints that the writer was making this up as he went along.
Ultimately, this is what had been a promising run on Iron Man coming to a dismal ending. 3/10
Art
Although Chic Stone’s name is quite familiar with Marvel readers, it’s always been for his inking. It’s my guess that either deadlines and/or drawing the short straw led him to taking on this assignment. As stated before, I found the art rather “sterile” which is a polite word for bland. I’m also wondering if that lack of detail is more attributed to Vince Coletta’s corner-cutting style than the Golden Age artist’s pencils.
Bottom line - it could be worse, but the art could definitely be better. 5/10
Wimp Factor
I don’t know about you, but I got tired of hearing Iron Man complain about being so tired. Dude, you’ve had two issues between this one and when you chased after Firebrand. Besides, this is what happens when you get yourself involved in a Super-Villain War and don’t call on your Avenger's teammates. 7/10
Villain Rating
Aw rats. Looks like I can’t call the Black Lama a villain any more. At least not without getting on the bad side of the Secret Service. As for Firebrand, the guy’s becoming quite tiring by this point. After all of this, you’d think that his sister Roxanne would be okay with Iron Man leaving him in this dimension. It would certainly make the holidays that much more pleasant. 4/10
Overall Rating
This issue reminds me of my teaching days when I’d allow a kid to turn in their work late. No matter how much additional time they received, the end results were underwhelming at best. 3/10
Additional Nuts & Bolts
This issue marks the arrival of Marv Wolfman as Marvel’s new Editor-in-Chief. Although familiar with both of his predecessors, I only knew Wolfman from that spooky Tomb of Dracula and some odd humor books. Add that scary name and I was curious just what he would do in that role. Hopefully, he wouldn’t force any crossovers with Werewolf By Night.
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