Review: Iron Man #75

A Train Wreck in Progress…

Late in the night at “Perfidy & Pints” - a secluded supervillain bar in 1975…

“Octavius! Over here! Quick!”

“Huh?” the bewildered bad guy’s gaze falls upon several fellow felons. “Red Ghost. Baron Mordo. What’s going on?”

“This way, comrade!” hisses the Soviet Schemer, “And keep your head down.”

A moment later, the six-armed antagonist is seated and asks, “What’s going on?”

“Keep your head down,” whispers Baron Mordo. “See that fool in the hooded outfit? It's the Black Lama. He’s looking for some villain who’ll listen to him rant about a ‘golden globe’ and ‘inner peace’. Frankly, the guy’s desperation is downright creepy. He’s definitely ruining the night for all of us.”

“So what do we do?”

So accommodating of The Claw to have really tall ceilings in case a giant-sized opponent ever attacks!

“Hold it,” interjects the Red Ghost. “There, comrades, it’s Firebrand. That radical buffoon will solve our problem.” Taking a deep breath, the rogue Russian calls out, “Comrade Firebrand, that man in the blue and black, he wants to start a revolution! Take down …the Man!”

“Golly gee!” the malcontent Midwesterner responds, “I gotta talk to this guy! Thanks, guys!”

“Well done, Ghost!” exclaims Mordo. “I’m thinking the next round is on me!”

Well, it could have happened that way. All I know for certain is that with this issue, the train that was the “Super-Villain War” truly commenced teetering off the tracks. A combination of a confusing story with poor art set up a colossal trainwreck that was now simply inevitable.

Since nothing can be done about it now, we’re a “Slave to the Power Imperious!”

Credits

Writer: Mike Friedrich

Penciller: Arvell Jones

Inker: Chic Stone

Colorist: George Roussos

Letterer: Karen Mantlo

Editor: Len Wein

Cover Art: Gil Kane & Frank Giacioa

Release Date: March 25, 1975

When you get done with the Super Villain War, Modok, you may want to have a dentist work on those teeth!

Synopsis

We’re several years from 75th issues being anything special - which this one most definitely is not! It all starts with a mundane Gil Kane - Frank Giacioa cover before moving to an equally mundane splash page with MODOK tossing our hero aside. Instead of being grateful that the Thinker’s secret base has really high ceilings so that he can fit into it with his giant suit, MODOK’s planning to issue some serious hurt on his opponent.

But the Thinker - finally remembering that androids are his calling card - sends out an equally tall one based on the model that took on the Fantastic Four back when the Beatles were still together. As this version’s spanking MODOK, Iron Man awakens to find his mind suddenly connected to the Black Lama. All of this is made more confusing with captions using the term “psycho-feedback” as if that’s supposed to explain everything. Instead, it just reveals a growingly desperate Lama wanting to “champion” to save him from whatever all this is. Which is about where the reader’s at as well.

Of course this also raises some awkward questions. If his torment is so profound, why wait for a victor? Simply hand the “globe” to some hapless villain, raise their arm in victory and let him deal with it.

Anyway, as all this is going on, after using his mental powers to shut down the android, MODOK grabs The Thinker and crushes him in his giant hand. Or at least that’s what it looks like. No blood or bruises to confirm anything.

Well, that's one way to get reacquainted with your former fiancé.

He then releases himself from the giant robot body, using his opponent’s tech to take over what appears to be an unconscious Iron Man. While this goes on, we learn that Gary Gilbert apparently can’t get out of his Firebrand costume since he’s wearing it while brooding at his sister’s home. As he’s trying to think about his sister, the Annoying Hippy dating Tony Stark, the latter’s ex-fiance pops into his head, connecting his mind to the Black Lama.

This frustrates the Black Lamo - I mean Lama - enough that he teleports to MODOK, ordering him to immediately begin his fight against the next opponent. MODOK’s all “who do you think you are bossing me” and how “I’ll show you by doing exactly what you say - only I’m taking Iron Man with me as a mentally controlled pawn!”

That means the Lama can teleport all of them to China, just outside the Mandarin’s former base that’s now controlled by The Claw. MODOK sends Iron Man in to soften him up. Which our guy does, beating up perhaps the silliest, worst drawn robots ever before defeating a pathetic-looking slime monster.

Hey, Lama! You think you're trapped? I'm the one who's stuck with a subscription to this comic!

The Golden Avenger’s ready to tackle the Claw himself just as MODOK breaks in - he really should thank the Claw as well for having uber-high ceilings so that a 30-foot giant can just walk right in. Despite a myriad of weapons between both of them, MODOK has he and Iron Man fly into the Claw so that they can crush him!

Great idea until the Claw teleports away! This leaves both characters unconscious. A flip of the switch has MODOK fall into a deep pit where he’s apparently destroyed and Iron Man is blasted by some ray device! Revealing…an android!

That leaves a smirking Thinker back at HQ, who tells no one that he’d switched out both himself and Iron Man for android copies during MODOK’s attack. We also see Iron Man in some funky shackles on a far wall.

Before I can wonder why our guy’s not using a chest beam or something to break free, we see that Marianne’s paying his mind a visit as well. She’s quick to tell him not to think of their past. After all , they were only engaged to be married before she abandoned him in a time of need due to some visions about a ghoulish cyborg who planned to kill him.

Wow! Our hero's not only peeved, but he's also pretty darned flexible!

“Link with me” and “flow with me” are what she tells Tony. Yeah, that’s differently not going to have a guy remember certain aspects of that relationship. Whatever she’s doing, it works as Iron Man breaks free! And instead of smoking a cigarette afterwards, he lets The Thinker know that he’s ready for “Revenge!” - the title of the next chapter’s story!

Story

Boy oh boy. This qualifies as not one of Mike Friedrich’s better stories. While the clash between MODOK and the Thinker isn’t bad. Nor did I mind the android exchange from the Thinker. But the overall story with the Black Lama and Marianne Rodger’s return is just confusing as all get out. While I’m all for Marianne’s return - I find her far more appealing than the Annoying Hippy! - what she’s doing is totally inconsistent with her character. Marianne has ESP powers that drove her insane. No telepathy. Or ability to link minds. Nor do the “clever” captions help explain any of this. 4/10

Art

Arvell Jones’s art takes a clear step down from the previous issue. Chic Stone’s inks cut back any frills, leaving us with bland backgrounds on stiff and unappealing characters. I appreciate Jones’s attempts to enliven the story with his panel arrangements. But what’s in those panels needs to be equally engaging and he’s just not there yet. At least he adds a nice “shine” to the armor. Arvell Jones’s around for only one more issue! 3/10

This is what happens when you refuse to take off your supervillain costume when you should be chilling at home.

Wimp Factor

Can’t really ding Iron Man since he’s essentially a prisoner most of this issue. I’ll add that his android double didn’t do too badly against The Claw. And since Iron Man finally broke out of his confinement - after “linking and flowing” with his ex - I’m going with 3/10 but only if we all agree not to tell Roxanne Gilbert about any of this!

Villain Rating

Since it is a “Super-Villain War”, we’ve a few baddies to cover. Starting in alphabetic order, we’ll go with the Black Lamo - that name is so going to stick from here on out! Guy talks to himself too much and seems to be falling apart along with his schemes. 4/10. Next up is The Claw - who along with that offensive coloring, offers the same old same old. 4/10. Then we have MODOK who lets himself get bossed around by the Lama, suckered by The Thinker and easily defeated by The Claw. Not a good day! 4/10. Lastly, we have The Thinker who finally leans into his strength, using androids. And it works! 5/10

Overall Rating

Tough being a passenger on a train headed for disaster! 4/10

Additional Nuts & Bolts

• I said it before, and I’ll say it again. I will not use that offensive “Yellow” as part of The Claw’s name. Wish I could change the coloring of the character as well. But just one more issue before he’s forever out of Iron Man!

• “Revenge” is going to have wait until Iron Man #77 because the next one is a reprint of #9. According to Marvel Masterworks Iron Man #10, Arvell Jones ran into deadline problems. (I won’t review it since I may actually go back to the early issues of this book at some point.)