Review: Iron Man #60
- Rick Moore
- 1 day ago
- 7 min read
Are They Deliberately Trying to Tank this Book?
Dreadfully atrocious? Or should I go with atrociously dreadful?
Oops. Excuse me. I didn’t know we were live. I’m still working on adjectives that best describe how pitiful the Masked Marauder is as a villain. I mean if Daredevil - who at this time is dealing with the likes of The Black Messiah and Angar the Screamer - hasn’t wanted this guy back in years, what in God’s name is he doing in Iron Man?
Did Mike Friedrich lose a bet? Or owe someone a huge chunk of money?
Nor is that the only problem with this issue. Pepper and Happy’s problems take on more dramatic proportions with the latter's morphing into full-on jerk mode.
Then we have The Annoying Hippy lecturing Iron Man and going full drama queen on Tony Stark.
Are there any positives?
Don Heck’s not drawing it?
Sigh, with that we’ve no choice but to “Cry Marauder!”
Credits
Writer: Mike Friedrich
Pencils: George Tuska
Inks: Mike Esposito
Colorist: Petra Goldberg
Letterer: Denise Vladimer
Editor: Roy Thomas
Cover Art: John Romita
Release Date: April 3, 1973
Synopsis
This John Romita cover should come with a warning label as that bald guy gives Iron Man almost as much trouble as the Marauder in both this and the next issue. He’s the flunky that simply won’t go away.
But the Masked Marauder quickly seizes the spotlight on yet another ho-hum Tuska-Esposito splash page. About the most notable feature are those dreadful pointed toes on the Marader’s boots. Did he swipe them from one of Santa’s elves?
We learn that the Marauder and three henchmen with cute matching uniforms have broken into Stark Industries’ Detroit plant to steal a space shuttle - which was damned easy with only two guards watching over it.
Unaware of all this, we find Tony Stark musing over last issue all that’s happened between then and now. As you recall, Firebrand’s sister, Roxanne Gilbert, had been taken to the hospital after being blasted by her brother’s heat beams. When the doctor tells Iron Man that she’s in the pink and that he can see her, the young lady’s response underscores why I took an immediate dislike to her character. Instead of “Thank you for saving my life by rushing me to the hospital, Iron Man,” The Annoying Hippy instead chastises him for beating up her brother. Worse, he changes back into Tony Stark, she refuses to see him because he used to manufacture munitions.
Does The Annoying Hippy even recall that the only reason Tony Stark is in Motown was because she insisted on his meeting with her so that she could lecture him?
Me? I’d wish the young lady well and would be on the next plane home. But I’m guessing that writer Mike Friedrich has created Roxanne Gilbert as means of addressing the concerns of a number of readers - and potential ones - about Tony Stark’s role in creating weapons that had to have killed scores of people for the past decade. Friedrich’s already moved SI from munitions, but as voiced by a nurse in this sequence, it’s going to take more than that for some readers to accept that Tony Stark has truly repented.
I’m guessing that is also a reason that Ms. Gilbert is going to stick around in this series for the next couple years.
As if things weren’t dreary enough, the scene shifts to another fight between Pepper and Happy with hubbie insisting that wifey quits her job immediately to return home. In his rapidly narrowing mind, Happy now sees his wife as a “swinger.” Which is not the woman he married.
Whoa. Swinger? Let’s hope that he’s talking about someone who engages in a lot of social events and not the other definition involving group sex and/or the swapping of marital partners. Besides, what’s Happy got to worry about? His wife is just out of town with his best friend - a guy she used to love and who - although I don’t believe he’s ever shared this with anyone - probably still loves her as well.
What’s there to worry about?
Fortunately for Happy, while Tony and Pepper are sharing a nightcap (still hard to see our guy drinking when we know what’s down the road with that), he receives news that his space shuttle has been stolen. This translates into “Exit: Stage Left” with Iron Man pursuing said miscreants.
Being a true mastermind villain, instead of remaining airborne where his opponent would be forced to damage the yugely-expensive shuttle in order to bring it down, the Masked Marauder decides to land it instead so that he and his cronies in their cute uniforms can face Iron Man.
This leads to six panels of our hero duking it out with two of those henchmen before facing the bald guy from the cover with the multi-colored armor. The cleverly named “Steele” actually gets a quick upper hand over Iron Man, attaching a power draining device onto his armor. However, not wanting any of his Avenger teammates to snicker any louder than they already will over this issue, Iron Man removes said gadget before unleashing a single repulsor ray against Steele. I won’t repeat the puerile jokes about “steel” and “iron” we’re to suffer though, but they’re almost worth it for the panel with Steel’s armor blown into scraps.
I know I'm overthinking this, but if someone's dumb enough to design a suit of armor that leaves their head exposed, why waste time swinging a punch at them? Just a tap on their head or a low-powered repulsor and it's lights out.
I know. I know. I'm reviewing the comic - not writing it.
Anyway, since the Marauder’s agent negotiated a two-parter for him, it’s his turn to engage Iron Man. And instead of a battle that should end essentially the same as Steele’s, we find out that the Marauder’s suit can absorb the impact of being hit from behind by Iron Man. All this to some painfully overwrought dialogue. "Plebian humor." "You sound like you mean it!" "I do, Avenger!" "Gather 'round, you peasants!" Yikes! Either the nauseous dialogue or Iron Man's carelessness sets him up for his opponent’s Opti-Beam, blinding him long enough for the Marauder’s ray gun to zap him into la-la land and bring closure to this dismal issue.
Rest assured that next issue, it only gets worse.
Story
Up to this point, I’ve enjoyed Mike Friedrich’s run. Not every issue sticks the landing. But before “Cry Marauder,” I never considered any of his issues as being dull. But that’s perhaps the best description of this issue and, unfortunately, what we’re going to experience this for quite while going forward.
The Masked Marauder was an exceptionally bad idea for an Iron Man villain - at least if you’re seeking to increase your character’s credibility.
Worse, Friedrich turns Tony Stark’s best friend, Happy Hogan, into an overreactive jerk, prompting a panel that was badly written enough to inspire an artist to begin writing. (I’ll have more on that in a moment.)
Then there’s The Annoying Hippy. Even as a kid reading this, I took an immediate dislike to her based on how she treated her rescuer. An argument could clearly be made that Iron Man lost control with his attack on Firebrand after Roxanne was hit by his blast. But for someone preaching non-violence, she could have found far more tactful means of expressing her thoughts.
Bearing in mind that Mike Friedrich was likely in his early twenties when he wrote all of this, it’s still far and away his worst outing in the book. 3/10
Art
It's another day at the office for both penciler George Tuska and inker Mike Esposito. The appearances of each character are most consistent than last issue. We're also treated to Tuska's depiction of perhaps the nastiest nurse in at least three universes. He also does what he can to make the Annoying Hippy easy on the eyes. Credit as well to the panel of Iron Man tackling the Marauder from behind and that villain's triumphant pose. But the henchmen and their horrid costumes are straight from central casting with the same sneers and bad teeth we've seen too many times before. 5/10
Wimp Factor
Oh man, I’m cranking up the Wimp Factor big time on this one. That’s what you get for allowing three goons to consume several pages of your book and ultimately succumbing to someone with an alliterated name. Only thing that would drag this further down would be if the Princess Python’s superpowered snake made a return appearance. 8/10
Villain Rating
A smart guy in a hooded mask going against a genius in a suit of armor with multiple weapons? An opti-blast versus a repulsor ray? Sure, he has a few henchman to do the dirty work and a couple ray guns. But seriously. Maybe Tony Stark had more than one nightcap before he flew off to face this clown. 3/10
Overall Rating
Let’s see. We have a lame villain. Enough soap to handle all of Detroit’s laundry for at least a week. Half-hearted art. 4/10
Additional Nuts & Bolts
I mentioned this in a previous review, but Happy Hogan owes George Tuska bigtime for his appearance in these issues. To see what I mean, check out his initial appearance from way, way back in Tales of Suspense #45 where he was created as primarily comic relief. While Pepper got a nice makeover, I think they cloned a whole new body for this guy.
Speaking of Happy, it seems that his “becoming a litterbug” wasn’t just upsetting to him. It also came across to fellow friend and artist Jim Starlin that he could write better than that, encouraging him to start writing his Captain Marvel comics. Ouch.
It’s not just the writer who gets dumped on over this issue. John Romita’s depiction of Iron Man on the cover became an iconic image of the character that Marvel used often going forward, including the Slurpee Cup that would soon adorn my bedroom window. I can’t imagine that going over well with George Tuska, who by that time, had drawn the bulk of Iron Man comics from his first issue.
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