Review: Iron Man #31

Cover Art: Sal Buscema

Introduction

Join me, my friends, as we journey back to a magical time when our nation was poised to pass - not revoke - environmental laws. That's right. We're going back to 1970! Within the next few years, Congress would approve legislation protecting our water, air, endangered species and so on.

But it was hardly smooth sailing for the passage of those laws. Concerns were continually expressed regarding their potential impact on the economy and jobs.

I bring all this up because that's essentially the theme of this issue of Iron Man. Unfortunately, instead of a story that evokes thoughtful consideration of those concerns balanced against environmental protections, we subjected to yet another heavy-handed and simple-minded offering. Indeed, writer Allyn Brodsky goes as a far as to have the "Smashers" be the long-haired, violent hoodlums depicted in the minds of many at that time. Although not the complete train wreck that was Issue #30, this one doggone near topples off its tracks from the combination of sophomoric writing and weak, uninspired art.

The one sorta-kinda positive is the introduction of Kevin O’Brien - Allyn Brodsky’s second greatest contribution to the Iron Man mythos.  (We'll meet his most significant one in a couple weeks.)  The fiery Irishman’s genius and steadfastness earned him a quick place in future stories - along with an opportunity to utter every worn-out and tired Irish cliché.

If only you guys knew where this relationship would be in just one year!

As we journey back to those forgotten days when science was believed, let's find out what they mean by "Anything ... for the Cause!"

Synopsis 

We open on the Pacific Island of Lakani, a mythical body of land that is apparently just off the shore of Topeka, Kansas, judging by the lack of any ethnic diversity.  An angry hippie with a loudspeaker shouts nothing nice about Tony Stark and his intentions for their island.  

This looks like a Pacific Island with no Pacific Islanders on it.

From there, an old fart named Major Ffoulkes takes over, chastising Stark and pretty much any technology beyond the clam shovel.  Brodsky not so subtly inserts his conservative thinking with various protesters countering Ffoulkes' extremist views.  To expand on his dire warnings, the art depicts imaginary images of polluted streams, smog-choked cities and even monsters created from “artificial chemicals” in the smoke from Stark’s factory.  Ffoulkes even goes as far as to warn them that their lovely island could end up looking like the modern hellscape of an American city.  Boy, I'm sure relieved we no longer have to listen to rhetoric bad-mouthing our cities!

Perfect time for Tony Stark and the plant director Bowers to show up. Just as Stark Industries' CEO attempts to reason with the crowd, a gang of bearded roughs calling themselves the Smashers decide to make their presence known.  

A dire future due to pollution - not only are there monsters! But they're all the same drab grey color!

With things quickly going south, Stark calls out to some bearded young man who turns out to be the aforementioned Kevin O’Brien. Turns out he's developed a stun beam that starts to settle things down.  By this time, the real Iron Man shows up, ending the riot in one panel.  As he talks with Kevin, we’re introduced to Kathy Ffoulkes, a lovely young woman who immediately sides with the protesters over her apparent boyfriend’s attempt to peacefully end the riot.  Every syllable uttered by poor Kevin only further alienates her.

From there, we find the Smashers in their cellar hide-out where they're on the receiving end of a harsh admonition from a masked figure who’s clearly the brains behind this group of roustabouts.  His costume is also very loose fitting, hurling the door wide open to commence the speculation as who is actually under that incredibly drab mask?  Major Ffoulkes?  Bower?  The lovely Kathy?  Satan?  We’ll find out in just over ten pages! 

A masked villain! Who could it be?

After that, Tony Stark visits Kevin O’Brien, offering him a transfer to New York where Kevin’s agent will negotiate a very prominent role in the series.  After leaving O’Brien to share the good news with a less-than receptive Kathy Ffoulkes, Tony Stark chews on Bowers about the money being lost on this plant.  We get a good glimpse of Stark behaving like an actual CEO before leaving the plant manager to deal with the protesters again.  Unbeknownst to Stark, one of the Smashers has not only attached an armed bomb to the reactor but also captured Kevin and Kathy. 

Outside, the Smashers drop leaflets upon the crowd, warning them that the reactor could explode anytime!  And if you can’t believe paper falling from an unmarked helicopter, what can you believe?

A rather fun sequence, but would Iron Man have actually let the bomb go off?

Leaving the protest so that he can change into his Iron Man armor, Stark spends a couple pages rescuing Kevin and Kathy before defeating this devilish helicopter.  He then takes the goon named Grogan (who set the bomb) and the hooded leader to the reactor where he waits for one of them to break, telling him the bomb’s location.  Hmmm.  With both Kathy and her father visible while in the presence of this masked leader, I can cross them off my list of suspects.  That leaves…aw, let’s just wait a couple more pages.

What follows is actually a decent sequence of art from Heck and Stone with Grogan, the main goon slowly cracking with the knowledge he’s about to go “boom!”  But instead of Iron Man having to soar quickly into the upper Stratosphere before the device goes off in at least half a page of color and smoke, Grogan just shuts it off.  Yawn.

Reaching the final page, it’s time for the Scooby Doo reveal!  The ghost, I mean, Master Villain turns out to be Bowers, who used the Smashers to wreck the plant to cover his embezzling.  After a few wise words of wisdom from Iron Man that hysterical action won’t solve pollution, we reach the issue’s end with Iron Man jetting off into a green - not blue - sky and a suggestion that we don’t miss The Mechanoid in the next issue.

Let that be a lesson. Crime never pays!

I still half expected a defeated Bowers to utter the following, “And I would have gotten away with it if not for those meddling kids and their armored ally!”

Ratings

Story

Much like the previous issue, this one tackled a topic that could have fostered a far more compelling story, allowing a more nuanced sharing of competing viewpoints that would have left readers with more to ponder than this silly “whodunit.”  Worse, the story leaves little resolution in terms of the protestors’ concerns about the potential impact of Stark’s factory on their island.  Sure, the Smashers and Bowers are behind bars.  But are either the Major or his daughter content with the current status quo?  That’s also one of the downsides to single issues - which, in Brodsky’s defense, is what I believe was mandated from Marvel at that particular time. 

On the plus side, there weren’t any offensive Asian stereotypes or phrases.  That and Brodsky had Tony Stark acting like a real boss.  Add to that the creation of Kevin O’Brien and we’ve a glass that’s only two thirds empty. 3/10

Art 

Calling Don Heck’s pencils on this issue a mixed bag is being polite. As nice a job as he does in depicting Kathy Ffoulkes as an eye-catching beauty and Tony Stark as a handsome, commanding leader, he drops the ball more times than the entire receiving

Meet Kathy Ffolks - the apple of poor Kevin O'Brien's eye!

corps of the 2024 Green Bay Packers. 

Case in point, look at that hideous panel to lower right where Iron Man’s hunched up shoulders look as if he discovered a mouse in his armor.  Or that completely lame design of the leader of the Smashers.  For that matter, what about their costumes?  White hammer, red t-shirt and dark tops.  Was a scruffy face and bad teeth a prerequisite for joining?  As I’ve said before, Don Heck can tell a visual story.  But those awkward, stiff pencils with bland backgrounds distract the reader from the overall story - which I suppose is a bit of a blessing. 

Not the most inspiring picture of Iron Man soaring through the sky.

As for Chic Stone’s inking, I’m guessing he’s wondered what he’d done to go from inking Jack Kirby on the Fantastic Four a few years earlier to these uninspired pencils. 4/10

Wimp Factor

Let’s see.  No heart attacks.  No armor malfunctions.  On the other hand, just a few ruffians with bad breath and a mean helicopter to tackle.  I’m guessing that Iron Man said “pass” when his Avengers teammates were going around the table to share their recent exploits.  5/10

Thank Heavens that Iron Man was there to deal with that helicopter!

Villain Rating

No supervillain. Just a plant manager with sticky fingers who failed to create any real challenge for Iron Man.  (Hey, he was willing to let the bomb go off, figuring his armor could handle it.)  Even The Scarecrow or Mr. Doll would have been welcome to at least give us a rating. 0/10

Overall

Only for the introduction of Kevin O’Brien does this one have any rating at all.  3/10 

Additional Nuts & Bolts

• Although Kevin O’Brien takes the next issue off, he becomes a significant part of this series. That is until subsequent writers have other ideas about a year and half later.

That's my take on Iron Man #31.  Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think in the comments below. You're also welcome to subscribe to my reviews at the bottom of the page at this link.