Preview: The Iron Age Revisited!

Starting November 14, I will publish weekly reviews of Iron Man, commencing with #30 from way back in 1970. While I acknowledge these are not exactly classics, it's my intent to have some fun with each review. What I mean by that is demonstrated with this post where I'll share excerpts from upcoming reviews. The intent is to offer a preview that also serves as an invitation for you to sign up to receive my reviews.

Enjoy!

Introduction (from the upcoming review of Iron Man #42)

There are any number of "red flags" that guys should look out for in the beginning of a new relationship. You know, what's her response when you want to hang out with your buddies? Or what's her opinion of your music? And of course, is she trying to change you in any way.

Then there's, does she become a Demon-Queen and seek your destruction?

That's the "red flag" Tony Stark faces with his new girlfriend Marianne Rodgers in this issue.

And she does all this while Tony's dealing with a Senate committee investigating Stark Industries as well as further attacks from the ever-manipulative nicotine addict, Mr. Kline and his latest lackey, a new mystic weirdo named Mikas. Since all this takes place in Washington DC, it's our civic duty to find out what happens "When Demons Wail!"

Synopsis (from the upcoming review of Iron Man #37)

The story then shifts to an approaching spaceship with more bulky blue robots talking about sterilizing our world of “infecting organisms” which serves as a segue way to “the Flashback Bit.” (Yes, that’s actually what the caption reads.)  The next several panels tell us about Worldform, Inc, an interstellar company that terraforms worlds to the wishes of their clients.  In our case, some deep-pocketed aliens who’s sun is about to go nova need an unwrinkled world since their fingers are suction cups.  Guess our planet will fill the bill once they can remove all life and take out our rough edges.

Meet Worldform! The amazing interstellar corporation that we never, ever hear from again!

As the absurdity of all that sinks in (Plate Tectonics, anyone?) we find Kevin O’Brien urgently looking for Tony Stark.  "Why" is something we don't know.  Tony Stark put him in charge last issue so that he could take in some R & R.  What could the Irish gadfly have screwed so badly that he’s already desperately seeking his boss? 

Before Ramrod showed up, our guy had been on a date with a gorgeous woman named Marianne Rodgers, whom Kevin finds. After she tells Kevin that her date split, Marianne mournfully cries out for Tony not to leave to her.

Fortunately, by walking into the right elevator at the right exact moment, Kevin finds his boss. And in one of his few sensible actions, Kevin wants to take him to a hospital.  But instead, Tony insists that they go to the Avengers Mansion.  Which makes sense.  But then why didn’t Tony go there in the first place?  All he would have had to do was contact said Mansion when he had his heart attack.  Surely someone there or even Jarvis could have picked him up.  For that matter, other Avengers could have dealt with Ramrod while he was out of action. 

Fortunately, before we can consider any of that, the big blue arrow shaped rocket lands in downtown NYC.  It’s then we’re introduced to the Foreman, a human looking guy dressed in Oregon Duck green and yellow (which works for me!).  It’s apparently his job to use the Earth-Former once the four other blue robots are conveniently placed in various corners of our globe.

Meet the Foreman - Master of the Bottlecap-Headed Robots!

Before inquiring minds can ask why this device requires four drab-looking robots to be in certain parts of a world before making our planet as smooth as a baby’s bottom, we see Marianne Rodgers now on the streets searching for “her boyfriend.”  Huh?  Boyfriend?  They didn’t even finish one dinner date. 

But now it’s time to stretch credibility even further with the Foreman noticing said Marianne on his monitors.  Apparently, the hot blonde reminds him of an old flame who had silver skin and jet-black hair.  He commands Ramrod to bring her to him.  Clearly, planet smoothing can wait.

Story Rating  (from the upcoming review of Iron Man #33)

This fast-paced issue is not only a step in the right direction.  Frankly, it’s a leap in quality over the previous issues from Allyn Brodsky.  Industrial espionage goes along with Iron Man like biscuits with gravy.  Although the Spymaster doesn’t do much this issue, he does enough to have us ready for when he and Iron Man cross swords in the next one.  I also appreciated that Brodsky finally touched on the previous issues.  

It's getting so you can't trust a guy who asks you to meet him in a secluded place at night.

But that doesn’t mean there weren’t flaws with the writing and story.  Every issue is a first issue for someone.  Particularly an issue such as this that was widely promoted with house ads throughout Marvel comics that month.  Wouldn’t those readers have benefitted from knowing just a smidgen about Janice Cord, Whitney Frost and Jasper Sitwell? 

Still, an overall engaging story. 5/10

Art Rating (from the upcoming review of Iron Man #49)

Either Marianne's powers are working overtime or she really needs to cut down on the caffeine!

I know - I know.  Either George Tuska-Vince Coletta works for you or it doesn’t.  Although it’s not Neal Adams or John Buscema or Gene Colan, I’ve no real complaints about the art.  Indeed, I’ll offer my compliments on the design of that nightmare image haunting poor Marianne.  Added to that, Tuska made the rather silly-looking Adaptoid appear formidable.  For want of a more precise description, I’m calling this “Good Tuska.”  6/10

Wimp Factor (from the upcoming review of Iron Man #54)

Wimp Factor?  Are you kidding!  Our guy fought the freaking Sub-Mariner to a standstill under the water for an entire issue!  Dude deserves a victory lap!  No moaning about his heart or lack of power either.  Only problem came when the baddies forgot to seal his facemask.  Was he really struggling with a snake four issues back?  (And no, it doesn’t look like I’m ever going to let go of that.)  0/10

Villain Rating (from the upcoming review of Iron Man #40)

Not much of a chance that anyone on the wrong side of the law in this issue is ever going to wind up in an MCU project.  No superpowers on the part of the White Dragon or his lovely, but unfaithful partner.  The dudes in armor did put our hero through his paces.  But they really shouldn’t have.  As for Devina and Kreol, I’m beginning to understand why Iron Man blew up their sub.  2/10

It's my guess that after these dreams, Tony Stark's sworn off Baked Alaska after 10 pm.

Overall Rating (from the upcoming review of Iron Man #40)

A truly weak story with competent art.  Call it 3/10.

Additional Nuts & Bolts (from the upcoming review of Iron Man #40)

• Anyone surprised that we never again hear so much as a whisper about either Shara-Le or the White Dragon?  That’s what you get for learning Tony’s secret identity in your first appearance!

It's my hope that you've enjoyed this sampling of my reviews. If so, you can sign up at the bottom of my home page. And feel free to offer your thoughts!