Review: Iron Man #36

Cover Art: Sal Buscema

The North Pole on Christmas Eve of this past year with Santa about to start his deliveries.

“Hey guys, why is my sleigh a bit lighter this year?”

"Uh, well," the head elf begins sheepishly, “We meant to tell you about that. Seems we ran short of coal for the stockings for everyone on the Naughty List. So, we had to find a substitute.”

“Well, with that new administration in that certain nation, I guess I’m not surprised. What did you use as a substitute?”

“We sent copies of Iron Man #36 & #37.”

“An old comic book? How can that be viewed as a punishment for making the Naughty List?”

The head elf hands him a copy, “Just flip through a few pages and I think you’ll see why we’re using them.”

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Spymaster!

With his red-gloved hand, Santa opens the cover and scans a couple of pages. “Hmm. Can’t say it’s anything impressive, but I don’t…” A long pause. “Oh my. Does Tony Stark really give control of his company to that idiot?” He glances at a few more pages. “No woman would ever say those words.” Another page. “And this art - it’s atrocious!” More pages. “We go from a silly-looking robot to his…” Not so jolly, St. Nick takes a long, deep breath. “Am I to assume that the next issue is more of the same?”

The head elf shakes his head. “Actually, it’s even worse. We really hate doing this. Even to those on the Naughty List.”

Santa adjusts his red cap and boards the sleigh, a determined tone in his voice. “No apologies necessary. We’ve had to use more and more coal each year.” A quick tug of the reins that gets the flying reindeer to start running, causing him to now shout. “If there’s anything that will change the behavior of those on the Naughty List, it will be giving them copies of Iron Man #36 and #37! You may have just saved Christmas and humanity!”

Not only does Iron Man want nothing to do with Whitney's request, but he also kicks her out of the book for the next several years.

Did Sal Buscema draw the wrong cover?

Weren’t we told at the end of Daredevil #73 that the Zodiac Key crossover would finally be concluded in this issue of Iron Man?  If that’s the case, what the heck's going on with the stocky metal guy wearing a bottle cap on his head? 

Those questions will be addressed once we make our way through writer Gerry Conway’s second issue of Iron Man - with a bundle of new ones being raised as well.  It’s with this issue that the new writer is definitely changing course to a direction of his choosing.

That means "good-bye" to Whitney Frost (Madame Masque) and Spymaster and "hello" to Marianne Rodgers, a stunning blonde who will quickly - can we say way too quickly - become Tony Stark’s new love interest.

The most significant development to me was the return of Tony Stark’s heart problems.  While Conway sees it as something that humanizes him, I find the "bad heart" as limiting Tony Stark and Iron Man's potential, becoming a tiring plot exercise.

But enough of that. We're about to learn that "...Among Men Stalks Ramrod!"

Synopsis

Team Iron and the Zodiac Quartet return from the Dimension of Old Bearded White Guys!

Although Sal Buscema's sharp cover may have us wondering if we've missed an issue, rest assured that Iron Man #36 picks up immediately after Daredevil #73.

Immediately following the dazzling special effects of the splash page, the next five pages consist of Team Iron putting down Team Zodiac. The only thing that keeps this final battle from being a complete shutout is when Spymaster blasts a passing car, requiring Iron Man to rescue said motorist, allowing his new nemesis a clean getaway before disappearing into comic book limbo for the next several years.  

The overrated baddie’s not the only one about to wander off the set.  After Nick Fury has flown off in a SHIELD craft with the captured Zodiac members and Daredevil, Whitney Frost confides in Iron Man that she is in love with Jasper Sitwell - who remains in critical condition.  She doesn’t know that the guy wearing the armor is the guy she wants advice on how to let down easy. 

Being a gentleman, Iron Man offers thoughtful, sensitive guidance to… who am I kidding?  After expressing an interest in rekindling his romance with Whitney just a few issues back, our guy responds with the emotional maturity of an angry eighth grader, telling Ms. Frost to shove off.  Which is the last I'll see of her in this book until I'm a junior in high school.

The "little people" aren't the only ones laughing, Kevin.

Nose still bent way, way out of shape, Tony Stark's tantrum devours pages as he declares a vacation from being Iron Man. Even worse, he demonstrates his incredible business savvy by handing the keys over to Kevin O'Brien- that annoying Irishman who simple won't go away!

And how does a mature individual address the difficult feelings of discovering that someone you may love actually loves someone else?  Of course you rebound by calling a very sexy blonde named Marianne Rodgers.  While she'll become a rather complex individual, you’d never know it based on her bubble-headed dialogue.  

Hello Marianne Rodgers! You're going to be a busy young lady these upcoming months.

However, before Tony and Marianne even get through appetizers, that huge blue robot with the yellow harness and bottlecap head from the cover decides to check out New York City, interrupting their dinner.

Calling itself Ramrod, this automation is clearly a graduate of the William Shatner School of Acting.  I say that because there are “…” every few words, indicating well-timed pauses.  I’m guessing he also turns around a lot to gobble up more screen time.  Ramrod is apparently clearing a landing spot for someone called The Changers.  

This is what happens when bottle caps go bad!

He's only demolished half a city block before Iron Man arrives.  After wasting a couple pages trying to figure out how to take the stuffing out of Ramrod, our hero finally decides to plant several bombs on him.  After said strategy had both fall to the ground, Iron Man is suddenly seized by incredible pain in his heart, causing him to black out and fall to the pavement below.  With our hero lying motionless on his back with smoke coming from his chest plate, this issue comes to it’s cliffhanger ending.  

Ratings

Story

I know that Conway's new to this game, but I would like to think that some tighter editing would have addressed bad phrasing like “baseboards of reality” or Iron Man calling Ramrod “Mace Mouth.”  (Who was he stealing nicknames from?  The Hulk?)  Then there’s the horrendous dialogue from Marianne with such frivolous lines like “Ta, Love.” or “Let’s not talk about that…It’s such a bore when you get serious.”  And he continues to have Kevin O’Brien maintaining his existence as a walking stereotype of every Irish cliche.

This qualifies as "not a good look." In terms of Iron Man and frankly, in terms of the art!

I'll add that the very insertion of his heart attack works against this story.  Sure, we needed a cliffhanger.  There are any number of other options to end this issue that would have had fans wanting to purchase the next issue. 

Worse, readers of past stories already knew the drill for the next issue.  Iron Man will limp along for half of it before finding a way to make his heart happy enough to allow him to miraculously defeat the bad guy before it acts up again.  Yawn.  (Which - without giving away too much - is more or less next issue’s plot.) 2/10

Art 

I’ve focused more on the story than the art in this issue.  But I will say that with this being Don Heck’s penultimate issue for Iron Man, I believe it is perhaps his best overall showing. I’m never going to be a fan of his work for reasons I’ve described in previous reviews.  But that all said, there are several appealing panels throughout this issue that I would be remiss not to point out.  Starting off with an engaging splash page.  While it isn’t the level of what Gene Colan and Syd Shores put together in Daredevil #73 , I have to say that Heck does a fine job in depicting everyone's return home.   Another round of applause for the stunning depiction of Marianne Rodgers.  I’m not convinced even a socialite dresses as she does and lays on a couch to talk on the phone, but I could see why Tony had her phone number.

Have to say that they do make a nice-looking couple. Good to know that she'll stick around for a while.

There are still far too many panels where Heck’s figures look awkward and stiff.  Nor do I think that Mike Esposito is the best choice as an inker for him.  But again, this issue is an improvement. 4/10

Wimp Factor

No way of getting around it, reviving the bum heart also ramped up the Wimp Factor to its maximum capacity. 10/10

Villain Rating

At risk of covering covered ground, the Zodiac Boys showed their true colors, going down quickly to Fury, Daredevil and Madame Masque.  2/10.  Spymaster takes the easy way out of a true confrontation with Iron Man, giving us ample reason to not clamor for his rapid return.  4/10.  As for the supervillain who actually made the cover, aside from some over-the-top dialogue, Ramrod wasn’t bad.  Alien robots are always good for an issue or two.  5/10.

Overall Rating

A busy, messy issue further damaged by bringing back Tony's bad heart.  3/10

Additional Nuts and Bolts:

• We won’t see Whitney Frost until 1976’s Iron Man #91 when she shows up as Tony Stark’s new secretary, Krissy Longfellow.   And it’s not until #103 when Krissy reveals herself to be Madame Masque.  Ironically, #91 was written by Gerry Conway during a brief return to the series while the Madame Masque reveal occurred under the watch of the next writer, Bill Mantlo.  Given Ms. Longfellow’s damsel in distress behavior during Conway’s brief run, I’m guessing that the switcheroo to Madame Masque as Mantlo’s idea.

While this art is hardly inspiring, some criticism is also in order for a colorist who decided that yellow on yellow works.

• Spymaster stays away until #117 in 1978, although he’s a would-be assassin in the shadows a few issues before we see him in that familiar yellow and blue costume.  Creators David Michelinie and Bob Layton treat him as just another bad guy with dangerous toys, making zero mention of any hidden identity or the Espionage Elite.  Spymaster never again posed a serious threat to Iron Man, becoming more of a dangerous flunky.