Iron Man's Top 5 Most Overrated Villains

When your Rogues Gallery is as dreadful as Iron Man’s (we’re looking at you, Mr. Doll!), it’s perhaps understandable that our hero would unintentionally elevate the competency of any decent villain that makes an appearance in his series.

And let’s face it. Over the years, Iron Man’s found multiple and even downright embarrassing ways to make several of his villains seem far more daunting than any reasonable comic book collector should have to accept.

With that in mind, it’s my absolute pleasure to present my totally biased list of Iron Man’s 5 Most Overrated Villains from Volume One!

5. Unicorn

Real Name: Milos Masaryk

Appearances in Iron Man: Tales of Suspense #56, Iron Man #15-16, 57-58, 68, 113-115 & 154 (Volume One)

Powers And/Or Abilities: A suit that allows his to project any number of energy beams from a device on his head.

Case for Inclusion:

Aside from allowing himself to be named for an imaginary creature that adorns little girls' bedrooms, poor Milos went from being an intriguing villain in his Tales of Suspense #56 debut to demonstrating a co-dependency that is nothing less than a cry for help. Bouncing from Count Nefaria - who teams him with several other lower-tier baddies to tussle with the X-Men - to the Red Ghost, Mandarin and finally the Titanium Man, the Unicorn essentially devolved into a near-mindless zombie.

Yet somehow, someway, our hero - even with all the upgrades and abilities of that incredible techno-suit of armor - still manages to get zapped onto his metal keister at least once whenever the Unicorn appeared. All I can guess is that Iron Man was too busy giggling over his opponent's silly name.

4. Midas

Real Name: Mordecai Midas

Appearances in Iron Man: #17-19, 103-107 (Volume One)

Powers And/Or Abilities: Wealth and a love for sweets that has him on the chunky side.

Case for Inclusion: Part of me really, really wants to question the logic of how a certified oddball with an infatuation for Greek attire and architecture would somehow become one of the world's richest men. But then all I have to do is check out our real world’s richest man to realize that perhaps Mordecia's not so strange after all.

But where I draw the line is that this walking heart attack has somehow posed a physical threat to Iron Man in past encounters. Hell, the dude's heavy enough that he can't stand without an exo-skeleton. But we're supposed to believe that his exo-skelton - one that doesn't even cover his body - presents a formidable challenge to the second most powerful Avenger?

I'm thinking just offer this guy a box of Krispy Kremes and the fight's over.

3. Firebrand

Real Name: Gary Gilbert

Appearances in Iron Man: #27, 48, 59, 74-77, 80-81 & 172

Powers And/Or Abilities: Exoskelton that allows him to project beams of intense heat

Case for Inclusion:   If you’re old enough, you’re likely to remember individuals who were willing to exercise violence to force sweeping changes onto our established society. Back then, they were called “radicals” and condemned. Which is unlike today when they're given pardons and proclaimed peaceful protesters.

Anyway, Gary Gilbert was such an individual, using a rhetoric nearly as heated as the energy beams projected by a two-toned exo-skeleton that included a clenched fist on its chest and an open mouth that should have been permanently shut the first time he crossed paths with Iron Man.

Instead, our hero seemed to always fight this guy's intense heat head on where it'd do the most damage possible to his armor instead of giving himself some distance and unleashing any weapon from a repulsor to ultra-violet ray would put this overmatched clown in his place.

As proof of that, when Firebrand resurfaced years later to face an inexperienced James Rhodes in the armor, the battle quickly ended with Iron Man simply dropping him into the East River. Needless to say, there weren’t many tears when the Scourge of the Underworld punched this guy's ticket a couple years later.

2. Melter

Real Name: Bruno Horgon

Appearances in Iron Man: Tales of Suspense #47, 89-90, Iron Man #72, 92, 123-124, 126-127, & 166 (Volume One)

Powers And/Or Abilities: Projected a beam that could dissolve virtually enough solid substance.

Case for Inclusion:   Can we all just agree that the Melter's a total and complete imbecile? I mean, the guy invents a device that can loosen the molecular cohesion of metal, rock, wood - virtually any substance with solidity - but instead of patenting it and making a huge fortune, he puts on a silly costume to tackle a superhero because he’s jealous of Tony Stark? Then again, I suppose that’s what you do if your first name is Bruno.

Once Iron Man initially beat this buffoon by donning an aluminum suit to fool him, the Melter should have seen the writing on the wall. But no. Instead, he hooked up with the Masters of Evil, changed costumes so that Iron Man could defeat him again, found the Masters of Evil again and, well, you get the idea.

But a big scoop of that blame goes to our hero who always allows him to somehow melt at least a portion of his suit whenever their paths cross. No doubt that Iron Man owes the Scourge of the Underworld a big favor for eliminating this villain about six months before he offed Firebrand.

1. Spymaster

Real Name: Ted Calloway

Appearances in Iron Man: #33-36, 112-117, 126-127, 137-139, & 210

Powers And/Or Abilities: Armor with a diverse array of weapons as well as other skills to assist in corporate espionage.

Case for Inclusion:   Hate to say it, but one's complicated. We have the first Spymaster who clearly watched too much TV, taking a page out of the Mission: Impossible concept by attacking Stark Industries accompanied by a team calling themselves the Espionage Elite. Unfortunately, after giving Iron Man way too much trouble in their brief battle, he revealed himself as a hireling for two members of Zodiac - a supervillain group who sponsors on weekend retreats on how to become overrated.

That was more than enough reason to fade into comic book limbo for over seven years. Spymaster returned a few times as someone's flunky before getting killed by The Ghost - a villain created to be what he was clearly not!

But wait! The Spymaster who the Ghost took care of was was actually Mark Sharen. And with his demise, another Spymaster (Nathan Lemon) showed up to drop the name's marketability even further.

In fact, the only non-complicated aspect of this glorified peeping tom is that Iron Man is guaranteed to trip over his own metal shoelaces by letting whatever hokey gizmo the Spymaster's carrying subdue him for at least two pages or ten panels - whichever is the longest.

What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments below or on Facebook. And you can sign up for my weekly Iron Man reviews by providing your email address at the bottom of my home page. Thanks for checking this out!